The purpose of yoga is to unite these two principles so that Shiva and Shakti become one within the self.
—Yogachudamani Upanishad
A marriage is the sacred union of two souls becoming One! I wish you and your spouse immense happiness, and the harvesting of true love. Since devoting my life to spiritual development and enlightenment, love is my first priority. When we make this commitment, our activities tend to transcend the physical plane and transform each and every action into celestial love. Many of my students who are married and have taken to the spiritual path also observe the path of bhakti marga. Many live in celibacy and practice blissful fulfillment. Like the yogis and yoginis before them, they have sublimated and gone beyond the physical practice. However, you do not have to be a saint or ascetic or celibate to start your transcendence into the path of celestial love. Let the full moon dance of Shiva and Shakti remind you of your inherent quest for unity, union, being One with the Divine. In other words, immerse yourselves in selfless love to attain the Divine. Let every act of love be made whole with this sacred intention. Let your partner be a symbol of the deity. As in the Hindu tradition, let the act of love be a puja, a ritual ceremony to honor the deities. In this way, you may harvest the phenomenal power of pleasure, gaining access to your treasure trove of the deep emotional intimacy and sharing that you seek without pain, and hurt.
This way of approaching love and being in love can withstand the most challenging forces of life and bring a sense of unity to all couples, indeed, to the whole of humanity. As women, we are inherently connected to the sacred interworking of love on every plane of consciousness. At a physical and emotional level, we conserve vital energy by discriminative use of our sexuality. The excellent health of our vital tissues, from plasma to ovum/sperm, is called ojas. When ojas is healthy and plentiful in the body, the internal organs and external senses perform in good health.
After entering the bond of marriage, you will be contemplating conscious mating. We must be clear on our purpose for wanting to bring a child into the world: the image of the child must be clearly envisioned by both parents prior to the start of this noble endeavor. To achieve this goal, you must be prepared to pause and set out the necessary time for conscious mating. To bring a physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy child into the world, the female must be physically, emotionally, and spiritually fed, and nourished with the clear intention, attention and the shukra of her mate. For this you have got to stop bringing work home, and spend caring time with each other without unnecessary intrusion. The lives of couples have become so rushed, so stressed, so motivated by material success that it had left little time to do the joyful, fulfilling, and simple little things that feed the spirit and that bond mates together. I recommend the practice of Shiva-Lingam Mudra for both partners (this practice can be found in my book Women’s Power to Heal, pg. 196-197)
The Dance of Sacred Union
A primal dance of nature, sexual union is a necessary means of replenishing both male and female energies, except for those couples who have sublimated their passions into celestial love. Vajikarana—the limb of Ayurveda that deals with virility, says that the vital life-forming essence of ojas and the subtle life-generating fire, tejas can only grow between the couple after a long period of this cosmic dance. Just as a mother feeds her baby with her own milk over a period of time, the male feeds his female partner with the essential, cosmic nutrients of his sperm. When preserved within a monogamous union, both ovum and sperm, continuously replenished, gain progressive strength until they join to become a new life. From this bonding, the future seed sprouts with prowess and brilliance, seasoned by the esteem and love infused within the threads of the sacred material spun over a long and integral period of the relationship. When the new life is born, its genetic composition is influenced by the parents’ intentions and actions long before cohabitation and, quite decisively, from the time of union between sperm and ovum.
You too may come to learn the wisdom against the indiscriminate and lawless indulgence of sexual intercourse. Men can greatly benefit by honing their awareness of the divine interplay between these precious energies and learning how to use their sexuality in sacred ways. From the beginning, women have made ideal teachers for this education, and need to once more guide their men into wholeness. Practiced without dharma, life-forming nectar turns to poison. Life springing from a union of that nature is generally plagued with uneasiness and sorrow. When the potentially blissful dance of sex is reduced to a blistering tedium—a hop from one partner to another, devoid of esteem, dignity, and universal rhythm—chaos and sorrow for all involved are certain to follow. Disregarding the rhythmic vibrations of nature and indulging in sexual misconduct are certain to incur the loss of love, happiness, and the impoverishment of faith and trust.
Our intentions are an essential prelude to all activities, especially sexual interchange. Practiced as an entirely physical action, without allegiance to bhakti marga, sexual involvement becomes emotionally and physically depleting. A sure way to transmute ojas and tejas into bile, indiscriminate sexual practices are primal violations against love, happiness, and the essences of Self.
Shakti Mudra: Honoring Feminine Sexual Energy
Continually practicing Shakti Mudra (set out below) helps strengthen or restore vital energy to the womb and bring its rhythms in balance with lunar energies. This is an especially excellent practice for women who are looking to conceive, or have had a miscarriage, abortion, recent divorce, disillusionment with love, or problems relating to their reproductive health. This mudra enhances a woman’s sense of self, reinforcing her femininity and self-esteem. Done on a daily basis, this practice helps to revive memory of the Shakti power within, strengthen Shakti prana, and heal the womb space.
The Practice: Shakti Mudra
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Sit in lotus pose or a comfortable posture in a quiet space in your home or outdoors, facing east.
Bring the palm of your hands together and then separate them slowly.
Place the tips of your ring fingers and little fingers together.
Rest the thumbs into the palm of your hands by bending them, and fold the other two fingers over the thumbs.
Breathe deeply into the pelvic area and breathe out slowly, tracing the exhalation from the base of the perineum, circulating it through the uterus and belly.
Maintain Shakti Mudra for approximately 15 minutes.
Take a deep breath and make a commitment to a life of non-hurting.
Engage your spouse or partner, and follow this mudra practice to fortify your Shiva-Shakti energies.
